story time: amazon and the condom conundrum

well well well. i finally had a day boring enough to elicit me writing this fun little tale. this is a true story. so, here is how amazon gave me one of the biggest heart attacks i’ve ever experienced.

so. there i was. minding my own business at 11:50 pm when a thought popped into my head… hang on. I need to buy condoms. i don’t want to buy condoms at the store. i have amazon credit. so what’s the perfect solution? buy condoms on amazon!!! i had already dubbed myself a genius but oh boy this turned out to be quite the bad idea. see i had last used my amazon account while i was at my parents’ home for winter vacation, so my shipping address was my parents’ address……

luckily when i placed the order i remembered to change it back to my college! crisis averted!

or so i thought. but i didn’t see the problem. i got the confirmation for the order, everything looked fine. i got another confirmation saying that the package shipped. cool. later in the day i checked on my package and noticed it was HEADED TO MY PARENT’S HOUSE. HOW??? it made no sense, i KNEW i had seen that it was shipped to my college address?? but i checked again…. somehow TWO orders were placed!!!! one to my college, another to my parents’ home half an hour later!!!!! so now a box of condoms was on my way to my catholic parents’ home!!!!!

well i called amazon services and told them the issue. a package was placed and shipped that i did not order. and i couldn’t cancel it because it had already left the amazon place. WELL, they said they could CONTACT the driver and STOP THE SHIPMENT. praise the lord!!!!

WELL DON’T GET AHEAD OF YOURSELVES. BECAUSE THE NEXT DAY I CHECKED AND THE ORDER WAS NOT STOPPED. THE SHIPMENT WAS STILL HEADED TO MY HOUSE. MAYDAY. RED ALERT.

well in comes my friend to save the day. i call my friend and explain to him the situation. i asked him to drive to my parents’ house, and pick up the “package” that i ordered for him…. or that’s what i told my parents. see they didn’t need to know WHAT it was… just that it “wasn’t mine.” so my friend agrees to the plan, picks up the package, and no one is the wiser. my parents don’t know and they never need to

thank u for listening to my scary story. hope u learned something today kids

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